The following sentence has been set in previous examination.

She gave a small wave, turned and walked away.

Look at the following final paragraphs from different responses. For each one there is a summary of the narrative prior to this point.

Tick those that seem appropriately used and put a cross next to the others.

Discuss your thoughts with others before making your final decision. Keep a few notes about each one. You may be unsure about some but make a decision one way or the other.

Then click to receive some feedback.

feedback :

  • The closing sentence has been appropriately used in Paragraph 3 as the wave seems a natural way to end the narrative as his grandmother has already said her goodbyes and he understands.
    Paragraph 1 feels as if something is missing as waving and walking away at that point seems too final and rather uncaring and uncommunicative for someone who has just been praised by the narrator as empathetic.
  • Paragraph 2 does not make sense because the mother would not wave and walk away from a son/daughter in pain after a road accident. If there was a more sinister reason such as the mother pretending not to be involved, then there needed to be more explanation for the ending to be appropriate, e.g.
    I heard the policeman ask her if she was a relative. I saw her shake her head and explain that she had never seen me in her life. I looked towards her in sheer disbelief. She gave a small wave, turned and walked away.
  • Paragraph 4 is not quite right as the ex-girlfriend would probably not wave at him without further comment after such a threat. Her wave needs to be set up in a way that it is dismissive and final. It would work better if it ended in this way:
    She told me that If I ever came anywhere near her again she would send her brothers to ‘sort me out’ as she put it. Her voice was filled with a sarcasm I had not heard before and a hatred that you could almost taste. She gave a small wave, turned and walked away.

Now choose one the following given closing sentences and write an effective final paragraph to precede it. For the purposes of practice, the whole narrative does not need to be in place but you can suggest a synopsis during later discussion.

  • I put my hand on his shoulder to show that I understood.
  • It was just at that moment that I realised I had left it behind.
  • I could not believe it - I had no idea that it was broken
  • “What on earth is this?” asked my father, holding it out in front of him.
  • “I am sick of your lies. Just get out!” she shouted.
  • I was helpless - I didn’t know what to do.