Look at these different chunks of an essay and think about how they could be organised into the different paragraphs. Decide which paragraph each chunk of text belongs with and then on the second screen order the text in each paragraph and give the paragraphs titles to create a coherent essay. You can then compare your essay with the suggested response.
1. Compare and contrast the presentation of women in Texts A-C.
Suggested Response
Introduction
To begin with Text A is an extract of the novel Vanity Fair, focusing on the life and adventures of its protagonist, Becky Sharp, a woman struggling to move up in the world and striving to manipulate the society that regards her with disdain for her lower-born origins. Text B is a poem by Katherine Tynan, detailing the importance of the role of women in the concept of having a home, and Text C is a speech by Hillary Clinton, attacking the limitations and assumed inferiority of women in the apparently patriarchal American society of the 90s.
Section 2 - First Argument
Firstly, all three texts present women as being the centre of a home or household. In Text A the author uses the syndetic of past participles, “she played and sang for him, made him good drinks…steeped his soul in comfort” to illustrate just how much Becky Sharp has to do for her husband, and that she has to fulfil all of the domestic tasks of the household to keep him happy. Similarly, Text B uses the parallelism of the declaratives “I am the pillars of the house” and “I am the house from floor to roof” to suggest that women are pivotal to the formation of somewhere to call home and the metaphor that they are physically part of it seems to emphasise how central they are to a household, and how much relies on them. In comparison, in Text C, the speaker uses the asyndetic listing of present participles “giving birth, (.) raising children (.) cooking meals (.) washing clothes (.) cleaning houses” to encompass the expected domestic duties that a woman completes. This implies how dependent the running of the household is on the woman, a wife and mother with a very big list of expectations. All three texts highlight the role of women in the home and how vital it is.
Section 3 - Development and Exploration of Second Argument
Another point is that Text A presents women as being quite powerful in the way that Becky Sharp seems to effortlessly manipulate and mould her oblivious husband, shown by the declarative “that veteran rake, Radon Crawley, found himself converted into a very happy and submissive married man”. The use of the archaic abstract noun “veteran rake” contrasts heavily with the premodifying adjectives “happy” and “submissive”, combined with the intensifier “very”, suggests the dramatic change to his character and persona and the use of the dynamic verb “found” and the reflexive pronoun “himself” creates the sense that he had no control over this transformation, that it was entirely by his wife’s hand. Similarly, in Text B, the poet uses the parallelism of the declarative “I am the fire upon the hearth”, “I am the light of the good sun” and “I am the heat that warms the earth” to imply a similar kind of power and the tripling of the abstract nouns “fire”, “light” and “heat” in the semantic field of warmth and flame suggests that a woman powers the world around her, and is responsible for such fundamental roles. Fire also has connotations of being dangerous, and perhaps the poet is also linking to this. In contrast, Text C puts forward the idea that women are beaten down and powerless, with the declaratives “denied the right to go to school”, “forced into prostitution”, “barred from bank lending offices” and “banned from the ballot box”. In particular, the use of the emphasis on the alliterative past participles “barred” and “banned”, a prosodic feature, emphasises how wrong Clinton thinks this is and how it strips women of power. Also the use of the past participles “denied” and “forced” suggests how little control women have over their lives, i.e. how powerless they are, and that they have no choice in their actions. To conclude, Text A and B seem to suggest women have a quiet power, whereas Text C attacks women’s lack of power and control of their lives and the world around them.
Section 4 - A Significant Link
In addition, as both Text A and B are in written “mode”, they are designed to utilise imagery and rhetoric, the words carefully chosen to have the most impact, but contrastingly Text C is in spoken mode, which conveys spontaneity and perhaps better imparts Clinton’s outrage over the treatment of women in America.
Section 5 - Third Argument and Exploration of Writers’ Techniques
Furthermore, both Texts B and C create the sense that motherhood is an essential part of a woman’s identity. In Text B, the poet continues the metaphor of a woman (mother) as a fire in the hearth, with the declarative “at me the children warm their hands; I am their light of love alive”, and this enjambment conveys the utter reliance of children on their mother. Throughout the poem, the repetition of the first person personal singular pronoun “I” and the primary verb “am” connotes a sense of certainty and the alliterative abstract nouns “light” and “love” with the third person possessive determiner “their” and the post-modifying adjective alive suggests that their mother is the only thing that matters to a child, and the extended metaphor of a woman as a shining light suggests that she is a force of energy, illuminating the household and providing life to children. In a spiritual sense, it’s as though they worship her. Similarly, in Text C Clinton uses the declarative utterances “giving birth”, “raising children” and “watching their children succumb to malnutrition” to imply that one of the greatest injustices a woman can have done to her by society is to watch her child suffer. The present participles “giving” and “raising” with the concrete nouns “birth” and “children” suggests the responsibility a mother has for her child, and that it is part of who a woman is and what she does.
Final Section - A Linking Topic Sentence to Explore Differences between the Texts
In contrast to this, Text A presents women as deceivers, conveying the impression that all wives lie and deception is essential for maintaining a good marriage. In short, that creating a façade to show to their husband and the world is an almost essential part of a woman’s identity. This is shown by the declaratives “the best women are hypocrites” and “a good housewife is of necessity a humbug”, in which the premodifying superlative adjective “best” and the plural concrete noun “normal” imply that this applies to all women, and the combination of the archaic abstract noun “humbling” and the abstract noun “necessity” suggests how vital this is to a woman’s persona, that it is an ugly but factual truth. Deceit is a natural part of marriage and women are seemingly built to create a charade of a “good wife”.
To begin with Text A is an extract of the novel Vanity Fair, focusing on the life and adventures of its protagonist, Becky Sharp, a woman struggling to move up in the world and striving to manipulate the society that regards her with disdain for her lower-born origins. Text B is a poem by Katherine Tynan, detailing the importance of the role of women in the concept of having a home, and Text C is a speech by Hillary Clinton, attacking the limitations and assumed inferiority of women in the apparently patriarchal American society of the 90s.
Firstly, all three texts present women as being the centre of a home or household. In Text A the author uses the syndetic of past participles, “she played and sang for him, made him good drinks…steeped his soul in comfort” to illustrate just how much Becky Sharp has to do for her husband, and that she has to fulfil all of the domestic tasks of the household to keep him happy. Similarly, Text B uses the parallelism of the declaratives “I am the pillars of the house” and “I am the house from floor to roof” to suggest that women are pivotal to the formation of somewhere to call home and the metaphor that they are physically part of it seems to emphasise how central they are to a household, and how much relies on them. In comparison, in Text C, the speaker uses the asyndetic listing of present participles “giving birth, (.) raising children (.) cooking meals (.) washing clothes (.) cleaning houses” to encompass the expected domestic duties that a woman completes. This implies how dependent the running of the household is on the woman, a wife and mother with a very big list of expectations. All three texts highlight the role of women in the home and how vital it is.
Another point is that Text A presents women as being quite powerful in the way that Becky Sharp seems to effortlessly manipulate and mould her oblivious husband, shown by the declarative “that veteran rake, Radon Crawley, found himself converted into a very happy and submissive married man”. The use of the archaic abstract noun “veteran rake” contrasts heavily with the premodifying adjectives “happy” and “submissive”, combined with the intensifier “very”, suggests the dramatic change to his character and persona and the use of the dynamic verb “found” and the reflexive pronoun “himself” creates the sense that he had no control over this transformation, that it was entirely by his wife’s hand. Similarly, in Text B, the poet uses the parallelism of the declarative “I am the fire upon the hearth”, “I am the light of the good sun” and “I am the heat that warms the earth” to imply a similar kind of power and the tripling of the abstract nouns “fire”, “light” and “heat” in the semantic field of warmth and flame suggests that a woman powers the world around her, and is responsible for such fundamental roles. Fire also has connotations of being dangerous, and perhaps the poet is also linking to this. In contrast, Text C puts forward the idea that women are beaten down and powerless, with the declaratives “denied the right to go to school”, “forced into prostitution”, “barred from bank lending offices” and “banned from the ballot box”. In particular, the use of the emphasis on the alliterative past participles “barred” and “banned”, a prosodic feature, emphasises how wrong Clinton thinks this is and how it strips women of power. Also the use of the past participles “denied” and “forced” suggests how little control women have over their lives, i.e. how powerless they are, and that they have no choice in their actions. To conclude, Text A and B seem to suggest women have a quiet power, whereas Text C attacks women’s lack of power and control of their lives and the world around them.
In addition, as both Text A and B are in written “mode”, they are designed to utilise imagery and rhetoric, the words carefully chosen to have the most impact, but contrastingly Text C is in spoken mode, which conveys spontaneity and perhaps better imparts Clinton’s outrage over the treatment of women in America.
Furthermore, both Texts B and C create the sense that motherhood is an essential part of a woman’s identity. In Text B, the poet continues the metaphor of a woman (mother) as a fire in the hearth, with the declarative “at me the children warm their hands; I am their light of love alive”, and this enjambment conveys the utter reliance of children on their mother. Throughout the poem, the repetition of the first person personal singular pronoun “I” and the primary verb “am” connotes a sense of certainty and the alliterative abstract nouns “light” and “love” with the third person possessive determiner “their” and the post-modifying adjective alive suggests that their mother is the only thing that matters to a child, and the extended metaphor of a woman as a shining light suggests that she is a force of energy, illuminating the household and providing life to children. In a spiritual sense, it’s as though they worship her. Similarly, in Text C Clinton uses the declarative utterances “giving birth”, “raising children” and “watching their children succumb to malnutrition” to imply that one of the greatest injustices a woman can have done to her by society is to watch her child suffer. The present participles “giving” and “raising” with the concrete nouns “birth” and “children” suggests the responsibility a mother has for her child, and that it is part of who a woman is and what she does.
In contrast to this, Text A presents women as deceivers, conveying the impression that all wives lie and deception is essential for maintaining a good marriage. In short, that creating a façade to show to their husband and the world is an almost essential part of a woman’s identity. This is shown by the declaratives “the best women are hypocrites” and “a good housewife is of necessity a humbug”, in which the premodifying superlative adjective “best” and the plural concrete noun “normal” imply that this applies to all women, and the combination of the archaic abstract noun “humbling” and the abstract noun “necessity” suggests how vital this is to a woman’s persona, that it is an ugly but factual truth. Deceit is a natural part of marriage and women are seemingly built to create a charade of a “good wife”.
Introduction
Section 2 - First Argument
Section 3 - Development and Exploration of Second Argument
Section 4 - A Significant Link
Section 5 - Third Argument and Exploration of Writers’ Techniques
Final Section - A Linking Topic Sentence to Explore Differences between the Texts
- Being repetitive with the points made at the start of each paragraph in the essay.
- Technique spotting often leads to poor and imprecise use of the textual evidence.
- Guiding students to explain the technique itself literally leads to the students defining the technique rather than analysing the effect of the language or technique used.
- Forcing the use of connectives can sometimes result in students making links that aren’t significant or meaningful.